February 21st was a typical winter’s day, much like all the winter days we experienced this year.  A clear, bright day, temperature just around the low 40’s, and people enjoying the unusually warm winter of 2012.  But in Fort Lee, New Jersey, the beauty of the day was about to be unexpectedly disrupted. 

Domestic violence often occurs behind closed doors but a violent outburst can occur anywhere and when you least expect it. 

Aena Hong, a 25-year old exchange student from South Korea was walking along Inwood Terrace when her former boyfriend, 26-year old Charles J. Hong drove alongside and the two began to argue about a recent breakup in their tumultuous year-long relationship.  According to police reports and eyewitness accounts, Charles drove away but then turned his car around, drove through a parking lot and stopped on Inwood Terrace.  As Miss Hong crossed the street, Charles immediately stepped on the gas and hit her.

Domestic violence is extremely complicated.  It’s not merely a snapshot in time but something more three-dimensional.  There are a multitude of different angles, events, emotions, conversations and behaviors that affect a relationship.  How could a thing like this happen between two people who love each other?  An “anger management” problem?  Not likely since all the rage was directed toward only one person.

“Once she fell to the ground, he drove over her and drove back over her approximately three times,” said First Assistant Prosecutor John L. Higgins III from the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office.

Domestic violence is at times incomprehensible.  Why would someone destroy someone they loved in such a violent and vicious manner? 

That triggered a wave of 911 calls to the police about a pedestrian being hit and the car fleeing.  Imagine the scene as police officers sped to the scene only to find this young woman lying lifeless in the middle of the street.  Panic stricken and upset people must have been everywhere.  Bystanders and onlookers, a man who tried his best but was unable to intervene by stopping the car and then by trying to open the car door and pull the driver out, people trying to help save her life, others just trying to understand and make sense of what they just witnessed. 

A crisis can trigger the best in people, but also cause anxiety and confusion.  Some people may try to intervene.  Others are hoping to render aide.  Others may simply shut down and are unable to comprehend and process their own feelings after witnessing such unexpected tragedy.  What these people saw isn’t suppose to happen in our community. 

Was there any concern for his girlfriend’s well-being after running her over with his car?  Did he stop and realize what just happened?  Did he show signs of remorse?  All we can do is speculate what might have been had the police not been so thorough and diligent in their investigation.  It seems his only concern was to escape responsibility.

One of Miss Hong’s teachers said “She was and excellent student.  She was a very sweet girl.”  She also knew that she and her boyfriend had been having issues for about a month.

Another teacher remembers Charles interrupted one of Miss Hong’s classes.  “He came in and was angry about something.  He gave her – it looked like a lot of money to me.  He threw the envelope on the table.”

Domestic violence subtle as well as not so subtle signs that people see but don’t know how to react to. For an abuser, it’s all about power and control.  Psychological an emotional abuses may be picked up on by others but not responded to because most people are not prepared to offer help or advice.

A neighbor who lives in the same building as Charles said she just saw the couple a few days before the tragedy.  “They looked happy to me.  They were holding hands.”  She also said she didn’t know Charles very well, but did say hi to him when they passed each other in the hallway.  “I’ve never seen him angry,” she said.

An abuser is skillful in creating the illusion of a happy, peaceful relationship.  An abuser may be manipulative, striving to have a good public image so others would not believe he is capable of the violent and controlling behaviors he uses in his intimate and personal relationship.

As we read these accounts and hear the back stories to the relationship of these two tragic people, we think about other relationships we see in our lives.  How similar are our observations about people we know as those reported about Aena and Charles?   When we see people we know in such tumultuous relationships, is there something we should be doing to help or do we just shut down and hope the problem goes away or solves itself?  Do we really know what is going on in other people’s relationships and could a similar tragedy be just around the corner?

A relationship plagued by domestic violence can be quite complex.  The longer the relationship exists the more likely it becomes that the violence and danger will escalate and the more difficult it can be to make changes.

How to Leave an Abusive Relationship?

Though Domestic Violence is dangerous, even lethal, and hurts the whole family, leaving an abusive relationship is not always easy. 

First of all, the person can be deeply in love with the abuser, hopes the situation is going to change and feels guilty for breaking the relationship, especially if they have children together.

In other cases, the person may be scared to leave because of the abuser’s threatening or harassing behavior. Leaving becomes even more difficult if the victim does not have a job or the support of family and friends to start a new independent life.

Deciding to Make changes and end an abusive relationship can be the most dangerous time for a victim.  It should not be a decision you make alone: you will need the support of people trained in helping victims of domestic violence. When involved with an abusive partner, your legal rights and personal safety are more difficult to secure. 

If you, or someone you know, is in a violent relationship, or is planning to leave one, it is important to make a safety plan. You can call the Resource Center’s 24-hour hotline and get help from one of our staff members:             

1-866-685-1122

Safety Planning Brochure

Maury Lonergan, Scott Van Cleef, Mayor Gloria McCauley, Paloma Amar Coleman

November 21, 2011–Hillsborough,NJ– The Resource Center of Somerset, located onHomestead Road in Hillsborough, held a ribbon cutting ceremony to open the newly renovated Annex.  Mayor Gloria McCauley was joined by several Township officials including Chief of Police Paul Kaminsky, Director of Building Ron Skobo and Business Advocate Gene Strupinky to celebrate this accomplishment of improved business expansion and community service.  The guests of honor were Todd Van Cleef, President and Scott Van Cleef, Vice President of Country Classics at Hillsborough who donated the renovation project. 

The Resource Center of Somerset was founded in 1978 by concerned citizens desiring to provide safety and shelter to victims of domestic abuse. Over the years, the Resource Center has gone through many transitions as client needs grew and services expanded. The locations of our  outreach offices changed along with the expansion of services;. In 1996, the offices were moved into our present location at Homestead Road in Hillsborough. By 2005, we were operating at  capacity and the Development offices were moved into the annex building, which was also occupied by Belle Mead Physical Therapy.

Jeff Coe - Project Manager, Scott Van Cleef, Todd Van Cleef, Paloma Amar Coleman

            When  the physical therapy group moved out  in 2009, there were plans to renovate the building and relocate all our administrative offices to the annex.  However, budgetary constraints and a lack of available funding meant those plans were but a dream.  Todd and Scott Van Cleef of Country Classics at Hillsborough recognized the needs of our agency and knew what they could do to help. Country Classics has a long history of providing support to groups and organizations in the community. Their proposal was to renovate the previously occupied offices at their own expense as a donation to improve the lives of victims and survivors of domestic abuse.            

Todd and Scott developed a design plan and worked with the officials in Hillsborough Township to make this dream a reality and most of our administrative offices, including Development, Community Affairs, Finance and Facilities Management, are now operating out of  the newly renovated surroundings.

The pride in achievement, professionalism and generosity exhibited by everyone involved in this project is testament to the spirit of community caring that allows our agency to provide the critical services so vital to the empowerment of survivors of domestic abuse.

Special recognition must go to Jeff Coe and Kathy Crosby for their dedication and focus to complete this project in a timely manner along with Maury Lonergan who coordinated the work schedules and kept the operations and facilities of the Resource Center  functioning throughout the construction.

The Resource Center of Somerset has long had a collaborative relationship with law enforcement officers and police departments throughout Somerset County.  From helping find safety and shelter for victims of abuse, to instituting the first Domestic Violence Response Teams in New Jersey, to advocating for ever improving victims’ rights, the social workers at the Resource Center and Somerset County’s police officers have been professional partners in the fight against domestic abuse.

On April 15, 2011, the Resource Center of Somerset held the Fifth Annual Law Enforcement Awards program recognizing outstanding achievement in services to victims of domestic violence.  In addition, a Special Recognition Award was presented to the Ministerium of Bound Brook for their community initiatives to help revive the Domestic Violence Response Team in their community.  The awards program is held annually in recognition of National Crime Victims’ Rights Week which this year was April 10-16.

“We honor the relationship we have with our police officers in Somerset County,” said Paloma Amar-Coleman, Executive Director of the Resource Center.  “The respect and trust we share for one another is so important to the safety and empowerment of those who are victimized in abusive relationships.  I thank them every day for contributing to our success.”

Somerset County Prosecutor Geoffrey D. Soriano was the guest speaker.  He praised the work of police officers in Somerset County and particularly the efforts of this year’s award recipients.  He also spoke about the future and how his office was developing a collaborative relationship with the Resource Center to find priority solutions to domestic violence problems, and to continue to improve the services and safety provided by law enforcement to victims of abuse.

The awards luncheon was held at the Verve Bistro in Somerville.  Police Chiefs and government officials from throughout Somerset County along with staff members from the Resource Center were on hand to honor the recipients.

Law Enforcement Award Recipients

Detective Nanci Arraial

Bedminster Police Department

Detective Arraial is a 2002 graduate from the Somerset County Police Academy and a member of the Bedminster Police Department.  Since 2009, she has served as an adjunct instructor at the police academy for the Basic Police Training Course, “Police Response to Domestic Violence Situations” as well as the lead instructor in the Continuing Education for Veteran Law Enforcement Officers program, “Advanced Domestic Violence Training” serving the regional service areas of Somerset, Hunterdon, Middlesex and Warren Counties.  The time and effort Det. Arraial has devoted to making this training program relevant and effective is measured in the professionalism and compassion exhibited by law enforcement officers throughout the area in the way they respond to domestic violence service calls and victim needs.

Nominated by Dr. Richard Celeste, Director—Somerset County Police Academy

Chief Mark Ciesla

Raritan Police Department

Chief Ciesla has always been forthright about the services his police department provides to the community.  Prior to his promotion the Chief of Police, he served as the Domestic Violence Liaison Officer for the Raritan Police Department and he made it his priority to review each and every domestic violence investigation report filed by his officers.  Chief Ciesla personalized every investigation by making sure each victim had an “identity,” that is, every officer was familiar with each case and what was needed to provide continuing safety to that victim and to assure their individual victims’ rights were being respected and satisfied.  He took a personal interest in those victims who might otherwise “slip through the cracks” because they had no one to help them navigate the criminal justice system.  This past October, Chief Ciesla spoke at our annual Candlelight Vigil Ceremony to Honor Victims of Domestic Abuse.  He passionately expressed his call for all law enforcement officers to respect victims of domestic abuse, treat everyone with dignity and to make it their personal priority to investigate every incident with their full attention to detail and fairness.

Nominated by Paloma Amar-Coleman, Executive Director—Resource Center of Somerset

Chief Michael Jannone

Lieutenant David Czarcinski

Lieutenant Stephen Spolarich

Bound Brook Police Department

The Bound Brook Police Department initiated a Domestic Violence Response Team in the early 1990’s, however the program was short-lived because of administrative changes in municipal services and the loss of the team coordinator.  In 2010, the program found new support from the community and an enthusiastic response from the police administration to reactivate the DVRT.  Chief Jannone renewed the community partnership between the police department and the Resource Center and Lieutenants Czarcinski and Spolarich worked diligently to create department policy and procedure, recruit volunteers for the team, coordinate training, and most importantly, work with the community to assure everyone that the Bound Brook Police Department was prepared to provide fair, effective and efficient service to victims of domestic abuse in the community.  The Bound Brook DVRT was officially “on-duty” April 1, 2011.

Nominated by Annmarie Crispino, DVRT Coordinator—Resource Center of Somerset

Special Recognition Award

Reverend Marisol Ferrer

Congregational Church of Bound Brook

Joanne Hala

United Way of Northern New Jersey—Workforce Development

Representing the Ministerium of Bound Brook

ommunity Initiatives are an important part of change in society.  The Ministerium of Bound Brook is an organization of religious and lay leaders from places of worship in Bound Brook who work within the community to examine needs and initiate changes to improve life in the community.  One of the first social needs the committee identified was the need for an effective response to domestic violence situations, particularly to the Spanish language and culture community which many of the local churches serve.  Partnering with the Bound Brook Police Department and the Resource Center of Somerset, the Ministerium helped to educate the community about domestic abuse, encourage victims to seek safety by reporting abusive behavior to the police and recruit and train members from their congregants to serve as DVRT Advocates.  The Ministerium of Bound Brook exemplifies how a small, focus group with common interests can identify resources and initiate positive change in their community.

Nominated by Lt. Anthony J. Winchatz, Ret., Director of Community Affairs and

Annmarie Crispino, DVRT Coordinator—Resource Center of Somerset